Tuesday, March 1, 1994

I haven't been feeling well the past few days.
I've had an upset stomach since Saturday.
Today, I am nausous and gaggy.
I'm 2 days late.
He wants to wait to do the PT ... says he doesn't want to waste money for a negative result.
I decided to do it now.

My sister is here with me. She is excited at the possiblity that I may be pregnant
I tell her *I can't look!*
She tell me, *Just Look!*

I go back to the bathroom. Turn on the light. Look at the test on the counter...

It's POSITIVE!

I'm PREGNANT!

I'm happy! I'm nervous! I'm happy! I'm scared!
So many jumbled up emotions are flowing through me.

Then I remember that little talk I had with God, just 2 months ago...and I feel a peace come over me. He knows when the time is right. The time is now.
This little one is gonna be alright.
I hope my marriage will be ok, too...for us and the children.
Maybe this new life will bring some healing for all of us.


I've been at my job for 1 1/2 weeks...and now I have to tell them I am pregnant. Will they believe me that I did not know before hand?

In fact, when I go to the Midwife, I will ask her if I can get an ultrasound. I want to see my little one. I'm sure she won't object. After what I've been through, she is sure to know that I need all the peace I can get.